A lesson in Fear: This year I learned that to overpower my fears I needed to give them to death. Every time I would get scared of taking on a project because I feared failure or to publish a story on a touchy topic, I would pretend to be dead in that instant and imagine what I would be feeling about that particular story or project after I died.
I found out after my imaginary tours that all my fears didn’t look so scary after I imagined myself dead. Everything just seemed over rated in my scared mind and everything else was already fine in my life less state.
With that lesson I learned to die to myself daily and with every serious decision I made death my Chairman of board.
A lesson in Patience: I learned that every time I get impatient, I am at my worst level of being.
When I am impatient I display all my fears, my pride and ignorance of who I really I’m. I am a human being that is supposed to experience life not to rush through it with a self entitlement attitude.
So this year every time I became impatient I always questioned myself, what are you really Impatient about? And the answer was always, I can’t wait because I’m better than everyone else.
Or I was impatient because I was ignorant about how a certain system worked and I showed my inept understanding of the situation by getting angry at the people that worked there.
I remember in May I was working with Napak district, developing an environmental impact assessment for Nabwal Health Centre II. The Environmental Officer I was working with was a little slow for my liking. She worked with letters and less emails, was okay with sending important documents via bus without worrying but I was worried sick because I didn’t want to prepare the documents again.
I was just so impatient with Paulina but I later learned to embrace her different and kept calm whenever she wasn’t working within my expectations because they had a different culture of operation that alone didn’t make me better than her.
It made her operating style unique from mine and that alone made our partnership a beautiful combination of different strengths and weakness. That was the beauty of patience; it made me realize everyone I meet cannot turn into Sarah Namulondo.
They can only be themselves and what made me impatient was I wanted a clone of myself out of Paulina something she wasn’t ready to give me. Later on within the project I realized I was always impatient for all the wrong reasons because we still got the project done before the reading of the 2014/2015 budget of Uganda, so just imagine if I had blown up in anger at her. I would have messed up a beautiful cause driven project we were working on.
A lesson in debating topics: I learned that usually the people who argue the toughest are always ignorant so before chirping in I always ask, what is my purpose in this discussion? Is it to understand or stick to an ignorant point of view?
It’s just so absurd that I always find myself on the ignorant point of view side a lot but now days I always let the person I debate with know that my goal is to learn no matter where the debate goes.
A lesson in Trust: In 2013 I used to trust everyone I met and I extended myself to whoever smiled and gave me a sense of belonging.
With that trust I extended a certain amount of expectation on to the person who received my trust tag and whoever didn’t act as per my expectations of them turned into a disappointment.
But in 2014 I learned to take people for their word, if a man breaks their word they break themselves and guilt is the penalty they pay for their crime. Well as on my side lately I expect nothing from anyone.
I am not anyone’s responsibility and it doesn’t matter how many times you may remotely think you are fooling me, it will always turn out you are fooling yourself because I don’t trust you in the first place.
I don’t want you to assume I don’t get disappointed, I do but I don’t give it too much power over myself by adding trust to the equation.
Starting business: I learned never to get in business with anyone who looks at the business as a cash cow and has no clue of how the business is run on a daily basis.
Giving advice: I learned never to give unsolicited advice to anyone, if a person needs my advice or help they will most certainly ask for it but it’s not my place to assume they need it.
That hasn’t taken away my humility, no!!! But I have understood that advice is mostly my opinions about another person’s life and I’m not so sure I know what the other person really wants to do with their life.
A lesson in forgiving: This year I had to understand that I am not a close relative to superman so I was bound to make mistakes. So I decided to learn how to forgive myself for being myself. The silly crazy mistakes, bad deals made in oversight and entering bad contracts with clients and then regretting them later.
It was hard to take in but I did it with a pinch of salt and it helped me promote my slogan of self love all the way in 2014. It has honestly made me fall in love with myself so many times and helps me operate within what I am best at and wallow less in what I can’t do.
A lesson in friendship: I have been so blessed because I have very good friends and associates but this year I learned to drown their voices and taught myself to become my personal best friend.
I learned to spend many hours with myself and healed from overexposure to interpersonal communication.
Keeping to myself a lot helped me get a lot of projects done and for a change I had all my new year’s goals achieved by May this year.
That really felt grand and I created more goals to achieve and still I have achieved the four of them except for one. So I guess being my personal best friend helped.
I had no selfish entitled friends who think my time, money and emotional strengths is theirs for the taking. I pulled the code out and the weak run for dear life and the strong stayed to battle the new me.
This turned me into a super class A introvert but who cares I love where I am at less hypocrites and no drama…love… love.
A lesson in becoming a street Hustler: I guess I can say I have become a certified street hustler because I have been unemployed for a year and a couple of months and still maintained my lifestyle.
It’s funny but in hustling you have no guaranteed times or month of getting money so when you make money on a project go slow on expenditure.
Understand that in this period of hustling you need to live way below your means like on less than 1000/= per day if possible.
The fancy clothes and crazy partying doesn’t look good on you and I am not saying this to scare you but it is a good thing to be frugal. Means you’ll someday become rich..hahaha.
I’m proud to say I have no savings this year but I’m glad I spent my money in all the right places hopefully next year I will try and save some money.
A lesson in rumour mongering: Every person that remotely suggests that so and so said this about you, needs something from you. Either it is your loyalty, your friendship or your backing and they believe offering you some form of security will help them cut the deal faster.
For such people always ask them, “what do you want from me?” See how their faces fall. It’s so hilarious but truth is they will be shocked you know they have an ulterior motive.
A lesson in offering help: In life I sadly had to learn no one offers you their help for free not even your parents. When I was growing up my parents told me, you are studying for your own future but I was so shocked to graduate and found out I was studying for their future too.
When they grow old and can’t provide for themselves, they will definitely get offended if I don’t support them. So what happened to studying for my future, when I make crazy career moves it becomes their business….again what happened to studying for my future.
Point is, in life no one will offer you free help so whenever someone steps up to help you ask them what they expect from you. At least that is being realistic to yourself and them, so that when you achieve what they are helping you get you can give them what they expect.
A lesson in love: Love is such a precious thing that every human being should experience every day in their lives. I learned that if anyone inspires this feeling on the inside of you, be it a man or woman no one has a right to judge you.
You are in love and that my friend is experiencing true life, real living and happiness and joy. You are so open and vulnerable but yet so proofed from all the worlds’ sufferings because you have something to love.
Enjoy this Christmas and I hope you spread the love like I am doing.