Being a woman 003: The burden of being a slave to love

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Women are very human so they also desire to be loved and when they do find someone they love, sometimes it is so overwhelming they desire to get married to the person that inspires that strong feeling in them.

But the moment a girl shows interest in getting married to the man of her choice, the insistent inquiries begin; how well can you cook? Did your mother teach you the importance of having a clean home? Will you be able to wash for your husband? Do you have the right moral code to raise children?

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It is like to find love is to find a full time job as a maid with a boss who will persistently demand for sex every night.

Society has aided men to objectify women and also define “the perfect woman”.

Boys are raised with this self entitlement mentality which desires a slave like woman, who will cook for them, wash for them, clean after them and raise children she bears for him. In the equation of marriage a man doesn’t have to do much but just be a man.

This kind of woman has been dubbed the proverbs 31 woman. The woman who provides everything for her family and the husband gets to seat with the Town Mayors discussing town policies while the woman slaves away at home to make sure she keeps this man comfortable so that he doesn’t stop loving her.

I was raised by a woman of the above caliber, a woman who received several generations of training in becoming a slave to love. I was that way too until I started questioning this love. Why do I have to learn how to be a good maid (house keeper) before I can be worthy of love and marriage.

love

Why can’t I be free to love my man without limitations? Why can’t I love my husband without definition? Why should my love come with requirements? I am a woman—YES!! I love being one and I have never regretted being in the body I am in but everything I want is either against my sex or not for my sex.

I do know how to cook and clean and wash but it is something I do as a ritual and not out of love yet sadly it is something that has been used to define my love. Men say if a woman can’t do the above then she doesn’t love you enough.

But why teach me all the cooking, the cleaning and washing when the real requirement for marriage should be communication at all levels. Love is 99% communication and 1% cleaning and cooking and washing.

If you can show me a man who is satisfied with having a clean house but have a bad sex life then I too will be a slave to love.

If you can show me a man who is satisfied with a warm meal from a woman who is giving him the silent treatment then I will became a slave to love.

And if you can show me a man comfortable wearing clean clothes but have a nagging wife then I will with love become a slave to LOVE

But if you can notice the difference then as a woman I demand you stop putting these limitations on my love.

My love should be free and not slave like.

 

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